If You Are Feeling Justified,
You Are About To Hurt Someone
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I can’t believe I said those things to her.
My words were so hateful and cruel! I can’t believe I did it again. But she made me so mad! I was so angry I felt like I could spit fire! Why does this keep happening to me? F*^*, I wish I could just crawl into a hole and disappear!
Justification causes some of our deepest painful moments. Some would say that it’s the root to all evil, except that the term evil is a misconception. Anything that appears to be evil, is simply a representation of ignorance at its worst. When a person feels justified for any reason, they are being ignorant to the Love they should be feeling in that moment.
Over the course of their life, they have become numb to the Love they should be feeling and so when they feel justified, they harbor hurtful thoughts and then strike out with hurtful words and actions meant to bring pain to others. Quite often, these people are the ones they love most, their partners, their best friends, their children.
If you are one of these people that find yourself getting so frustrated, angry and upset with the people you love, that you argue, fight, and rage at them, this article is written to help you understand why you act the way you do and what you can do to heal your affliction should you choose to do so.
The foundation for justification is caused by a metaphysical principle called a Love Reversal. When a child experiences trauma over and over again, many times a day, day after day for years, the child becomes accustomed to the abuse. The abuse becomes familiar, habitual, known. The child then can misinterpret the abuse as Love, when it is not. This is a Love Reversal.
For example, if a little girl has a mother or father who only knows how to parent by yelling loudly with disdain and anger and hitting her often, she becomes accustomed to what is clearly an abusive relationship. Because abuse is all she knows, she can misconstrue the abuse as Love. It’s the way her parents take care of her. As she grows older, she attracts abusive people to her because those are the kind of people she feels accustomed to. If a truly Loving and healthy person enters her life, she may feel annoyed or irritated because the Love is so foreign to her.
We learn most of our unloving beliefs, Love Reversals, and habits from being around and imitating our parents and siblings, or from those who raised us when we were children. In this way, the unloving patterns are passed from generation to generation through our lineages.
One of the biggest things to understand about Love Reversals is that they can make us numb to our pain. When a person experiences trauma, the body goes into shock. One of the biggest qualities of shock, is that it makes us feel numb. When we experience a type of trauma/shock over and over, day after day, we become numb to it. This numbing quality is a big factor as to how we become accustomed to or used to the pain. Every time a child experiences trauma either through physical, verbal, emotional, sexual, mental, spiritual, or metaphysical abuse, or any combination of those abusive actions, their body goes into shock from the trauma of it and their body becomes numb to that kind of pain as a result of being in shock all the time.
This numbing quality of Love Reversals effectively hides the pain we should feel when we act and react in unloving ways.
We should be feeling the guidance of Love.
Love shows us what is right and what feels good. But without this guidance system, it is very difficult to know the difference between right and wrong.
So when we get angry, we find ourselves easily acting in harsh hurtful ways. It’s the way we’ve been taught to act. (Please do not get angry at your parents or those who raised you for this. First of all, it’s already done and so getting angry will not help anything. Second, all of our parents were always doing the best they knew how to do. Everyone is. Everyone is acting how they were taught to act. It is passed down from generation to generation. If you want to break the chain, if you want to be different, healthier, more loving, then you will need to do what you need to do to heal this affliction in yourself, so you do not pass it on to your children.)
Love Reversals lead us into a distorted view of the world and are the underlying cause of obsession and justification. This distortion is what makes some people’s actions seem evil, so distorted that they do not understand what is right or true or loving.
When you are in a strong, Loving space and you move away from Love in any fashion, it hurts. It hurts a lot. If there were no Love Reversals, we would never even consider getting angry for any length of time, especially at someone we Love, and especially at a child because we would feel how much we are hurting the other person and ourselves. We would never even think about hating anything. It would just hurt too much to do that. We would find it very difficult to lie, or cheat, or steal, or do anything that was not Loving because it would simply be too painful.
But we do have Love Reversals in us, and we are numb to the pain. We are so numb that we actually feel justified in acting and reacting in unloving ways, even when it hurts us and other people. We feel compelled to act and react in unloving ways, believing we are right. Some people will even kill to prove they are right.
If you ever feel justified about doing something, you are most definitely under the influence of a Love Reversal and you are about to hurt someone through your ignorance, through your hurtful thoughts, words, or actions.
It’s very important to not make decisions when you feel justified. Feeling justified is one of the most poisonous and painful feelings you may ever feel, and it is one of the most powerful deceptions there could ever be. Feeling justified makes you feel good about hurting other people or feeling good when other people hurt.
As you can see, if you have the affliction of feeling and acting justified, it has taken you a lifetime to acquire the hateful, angry, unloving beliefs and habits that support you feeling justified. It’s going to take a lot of work on your part to change and heal these afflictions and if you choose to do it, it could be the most rewarding thing you have ever done.
Another way to say this is that if you are so tired of the hurtful thoughts, the constant arguing and fighting and struggling you are experiencing day by day in your life, that you are moved to change and heal, you will find it to be one of the most rewarding journeys you have ever embarked upon. If you are willing to do this work, I can tell you that you will learn more about yourself and the power of Love than you could ever imagine.
It may help to start off with discovering why the metaphysical principle of Love Reversals is built into our psyche the way it is. My last blog called, “Under Our Pain Is Some Serious Misunderstandings And It Is Time For Them To STOP” will help you understand the why. Click on the title to read that blog now and then come back to this one and learn what you can do next to heal.
I have written a book called Growing Big In Love. It’s a manual to teach you the metaphysical principles of how your mind and bodies (physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual bodies) work, and gives you the tools to enable you to integrate those principles into your life so that you can understand how to heal yourself and do the work on your own.
In the first half, there are seven Love Tools to teach you how to grow so big in Love that within a year, if you master the tools, you will be able to focus on Love every moment of every day.
The second half teaches you how trauma creates the unloving beliefs and accompanying habits you have within you and provides the Love Healing Process that you can use to heal the trauma, the unloving beliefs, and their habits daily. Growing in Love and healing your unloving beliefs and habits daily, are creating a whole new way to live that creates Loving Intelligence. If you master these processes, you will find yourself getting smarter and happier day after day.
You can learn to do all the work on your own by reading the book. And if you want to make the process a little easier, you can sign up for my 12-week online course, “The Love Mastery” which teaches you to master the metaphysical principles and tools in a three-month intensive. The next course starts on Tuesday, September 7, 2021. This is a transformational course in which you will read the book during the week and come to the classes to see how the principles show up in your body and interact with other students. To learn more and sign up for the course, go here: www.thelovemastery.com.
You can purchase copies of Growing Big In Love here: https://www.growingbiginlove.com/book
