What is the Right Wrong Paradigm and Why Should We Put it to Rest
“If you don’t get it right, then you are wrong and you will be punished.” How many times did you hear those words or some version of them during your childhood? For many of us, this was a daily occurrence. “I told you not to do that!” “If you do that one more time, you’re going to get a spanking!” “I can’t believe you did that! When your father gets home, he’s going to beat the tar out of you!” The Right-Wrong Paradigm was drilled into us, often with harsh consequences, creating deep emotional scars and instilling a fear of being wrong that can persist throughout our lives.
For most of us, it hasn’t been just this lifetime. I have studied my past lifetimes studiously and heard stories from so many clients about any time we tried to step into being our beautiful powerful selves, we have been burned at the stake, hanged, quartered, tortured, and made to be wrong; it’s a pattern that has repeated itself across lifetimes. It has convinced us that there is something fundamentally wrong with us, creating a profound sense of unworthiness.
The Pain of the Right-Wrong Paradigm
This paradigm is responsible for much of the pain we experience in life. It keeps us in a state of constant judgment, both of ourselves and others, leading to feelings of guilt, shame, and inadequacy when we perceive ourselves as “wrong.” Conversely, it fosters a sense of superiority and righteousness when we believe we are “right.” This binary thinking creates divisions, conflicts, and an inability to see the broader picture or empathize with others.
The Right-Wrong Paradigm leads to a distorted view of learning and growth. Instead of seeing challenges as opportunities to learn and grow, we see them as tests of our worth. When we make a mistake, we don’t view it as a natural part of the learning process; instead, we internalize it as evidence of our inherent wrongness. This mindset stifles our natural curiosity and creativity, making us fearful of trying new things or stepping out of our comfort zones.
The Illusion of Right and Wrong
The Right-Wrong Paradigm is a deeply ingrained belief system, but it’s not an absolute truth. It’s a construct that we have collectively agreed upon, but it doesn’t reflect the true nature of reality. When we step back and look at the world through the lens of love and compassion, we begin to see that labeling experiences as right or wrong is not only limiting but also harsh and unfeeling.
Consider a child trying to put a square block into a round hole. Is the child wrong? Of course not. The child is learning about shapes and spatial awareness. The process of trial and error is an essential part of learning. Similarly, when a child struggles to tie their shoes, they are not failing; they are learning. In a healthy environment, every attempt, regardless of the outcome, is celebrated as a step toward mastery.
When we shift our perspective from judgment to understanding, we create a more supportive and nurturing environment for growth. Instead of labeling actions as right or wrong, we can focus on the learning and growth that each experience offers. This shift not only reduces the fear of making mistakes but also encourages a love of learning and exploration.
Moving Beyond the Right-Wrong Paradigm
Stepping away from the Right-Wrong Paradigm has been one of the most enlightening endeavors of my healing journey. It has allowed me to see the world through a more compassionate and loving lens, freeing me from the cycle of judgment and punishment that once dominated my life.
When we move beyond this paradigm, we open ourselves to a deeper understanding of the world and our place in it. We begin to see that every experience, even those that challenge us, has something to teach us. We start to view ourselves and others with more compassion, recognizing that we are all on a journey of growth and learning.
On a spiritual level, moving beyond the Right-Wrong Paradigm allows us to stay in our hearts, cultivating excitement, wonder, love, and fun. It shifts our focus from fear and judgment to curiosity and exploration, creating a more joyful and fulfilling experience of life.
Embracing a New Paradigm for Healing
The Right-Wrong Paradigm has kept humanity in a state of confusion and chaos, but it doesn’t have to be this way. By embracing a new paradigm — one that focuses on love, compassion, and understanding — we can begin to heal the wounds of the past and create a more harmonious and fulfilling life.
This shift in perspective is not just about personal growth; it’s about transforming the way we interact with the world. When we stop judging ourselves and others, we create space for healing, connection, and true understanding. We begin to see the world not as a place of right and wrong, but as a rich tapestry of experiences, each offering us the opportunity to grow and evolve.
If you’re ready to move beyond the Right-Wrong Paradigm and embrace a more loving and compassionate way of being, I invite you to explore the teachings of Growing Big In Love. Through the Love Healing Process, you can begin to heal the beliefs that keep you trapped in this outdated mindset and discover a new way of living that is rooted in truth, love, and compassion.
To learn more, get your free PDF copy of Growing Big In Love, sign up for classes, or purchase one on one sessions for personal healing and growth with Raven, I invite you to visit Growing Big In Love. May your life be filled with the wonder of love always!
